A week reflecting OR Why do I think most “Organized Tours” suck

 Barely a week after our trip to Sicily, my brain was asking me, "where next?"
 My health app. on my phone was telling me," where-ever it is, slow the heck down"
We tracked an average daily walking distance of over 9km during our trip and the knee pain that arose from dashing between terminals in Rome and the almost 2 km covered, as well as the almost back to back 11 hours of flights between Palermo and Toronto left me aching and alternating Tramacet, CBD and Kalaya cream in an effort to alleviate the pain.

 Now, almost 3 years later, our first trip overseas to the Azores ( not counting an AI in Mexico) is also a week into the past.

  My suitcase is emptied and put away. Well, not quite emptied- I left the electric adaptors, the sewing and eyeglass repair kits and the Birkenstocks inside- for next time.

My "Next Time" will definitely exclude any trip listed as an "Organized Tour" for reasons I'm including below. It's a rant, so if you are considering a vacation involving one, Pay Attention!

1) Two of my last "organized tours" portrayed themselves as "small group adventures" yet they ultimately morphed from such into a combined "busload" of close to 40 as they combined 2 separate groups into one, in the interests of "economy of scale" This might have been fine except that the resulting vehicle was often too large to negotiate some of the road and street networks and was forced into extensive detours.

2) One one of said tours the group was half Spanish and half English speaking, the guide addressing us in both languages. But it was apparent that she favoured the Spanish speakers, often delivering more detail than her English explanations. Times and locations were often quoted differently when addressing the different groups, accidentally or deliberately? I'm not sure. Luckily enough of us had enough knowledge of Spanish that we caught the errors.

 Note that I do not consider GAP and Intrepid in my putdown of these tours. I have used their services on several occasions and have always been pleased with group size, altough not neccesarily make up, since many "group tour" participants should not be, as they can often be unsuited to the task of interacting with fellow travellers. 

 I recall one such "cultural tour" of Eastern Europe where half the group was totally disinterested in the cultural aspects as they were constantly hungover from their previous nights exploits- even the group leader was of the same opinion. 

3) One other common annoyance of "Organized Tours" regardless of size is the amount of time spent travelling between locations. 8 countries in 12 days had a neat sort of ring to it in my early days of travel. But now, that sort of experience has about as much appeal as a cattle drive, which it is, more or less.

Our last tour included 4 nights in historic centres, yet we saw nothing of these places as everything was closed by the time we arrived and we left too early the following day for anything to be open.

 At almost 70, the breakfast at 6, suitcases at the door by 7 and on the bus by 8, has lost it's "charm".

 I prefer my breakfast at 8 and lasting till 9 over 2 or 3 cups of Cafe Americano while deciding if we will stay till checkout time before we move on.

4)When the itinerary says "you will see" such and such a site, that can mean a lengthy visit or a fleeting glance as the bus drives past it at 80kph. Often it is the latter. I recall one tour where the guide went to great lengths to explain that 'seeing' a historic site and 'visiting' the same were clearly different, her commentary being similar to a Kindergarten teacher addressing her students before their first Field Day trip. Her idea of being a tour guide was pointing us in the dirrection of the ticket office to navigate a historic site on our own while she leaned against the bus smoking her umpteenth unfiltered cancer stick of the day. I imagine her many tip envelopes stuffed with comments rather than money inspired her to find a more suitable career.

5) Every "Organized Tour" seems to have at least one Prima Donna who thinks they have priority over the Plebes around him- and yes, it is usually a Him.

 I recall the Florida teacher who went into a pout when things weren't going his way- his way being such things as not stopping the bus every time he wanted to take a photo. Then there are the idiots who wont follow the rotating seat assignments often used by various tour services. And of course, who can forget the folks who think "back on the bus by 2pm means "sure, the rest of us would love to hang around till 2:30 because you were bartering over a $2 trinket and lost track of the time"

 My next trip is pretty well finalized and includes approx 12 stops over 30 days. Only one stay involves a single overnight stop with the rest being 2 or 3 night stopovers. That kind of flexibility can never be attained using an "Organized Tour" unless one uses the services of a Private Tour operator. That tends to up the price considerably and, honestly, why would I abdicate the resonsibility of planning a tour to someone else, when half the fun of the trip is the planning.